Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Nahin Acha... !

Muhabat laffz* nahi acha,
Chalo tabdeel krte hain...
Barra hi dard deta hai,
Boht azeeyat bhi hoti hai,
Kisi ko dil mein rakhne se,
Khalish kuch barrh si jaati hai,
Kisi ka hath jo thaama,
Vo pal mein chhoot sakta hai
Kisi ko apna jo jana,
Paraya pal mein hota hai...
Muhabat laffz* nahi acha,
Chalo tabdeel krte hain,
Iss jazbay ko ab se hum,
Chalo taqdeer kehte hain!

* laffz = word

12 comments:

  1. Wah Wah Wah.. this is really nice ^ ^ love this one!

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  2. bohattttttt hi alaaaaa :)

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  3. ah soo soo beautiful :-). Did you write it yourself?

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  4. @ raajii:
    yes... back in 2007. found my old diary :)

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  5. wah wah wahhhhhhh ! MASHALLAH :)
    irfan kazmi :)

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  6. very nice...but still mohabbat word will remain the same :)

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  7. i loved most of ur writings...but i found dis one d best...mayb bcoz i can so identify wid it...lovely thoughts u have penned down...keep it up...

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  8. Thank u so much for the kind words, lady :)

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  9. nice thought but execution could have been better. the meter of CHALO TABDEEL KARTE HAIN is different from the meter of MUHABBAT LAFZ NAHIN ACHA. for example if the line was MUHABBAT LAFZ ACHA HAI and CHALO TABDEEL KARTE HAIN the meter would be balanced. in your case first line is hevier. line 3 and 4 have the same problem. next few lines are fine then in the last two lines, the first line needs balance. for example if you add AUR before ISS JAZBAT KO HUM it will be balanced. sorry, couldn't help being myself (a jerk).

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  10. My AZAAD NAZMS have a lot of problem. Please forgive this amateur writer :)
    I just wrote it for the heck of giving words to my feelings. Thank u for the comments and guidance. Much appreciated.

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