Yes... life has this weird way of banging up on you, when you least expect it!
And I think some more... do I just want plain appreciation from a couple of anonymous bloggers for posting such intricate views about my life or do I want a warm, strong embrace of this one man who claims to hold me every time I fall? Do I want men who can communicate with me by weaving a delicate web of lies, using their overwhelming verbosity, or do I seek the absolutely unintellectual conversation with this man who says he knows me inside out? This man, who knows that my dreams often trouble me and upon waking up, I shall reach out to him.
Written on 07.09.2011
Sometimes when I'm suddenly quiet, he asks me as to what is wrong and I just shake my head... I see him flinch, I see him want to reach into my mind to find out what it is that bothers me. It is at this point that I long to tell him, that there is no point in trying to conquer all of me, as there are parts of my personality that I dare not tread upon... there's just too much, too much that encompasses of what I truly am. Too much of what I keep hiding from my own self. Too much that I certainly don't wish to encounter. And all of this I shall keep stored, word by word, into the very depths of my soul... will he be able to understand that this is what makes me, what completes me... or will I have to forever lie?
Written on 07.09.2011