Written on 07.09.2011
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Written on 07.09.2011
Friday, September 16, 2011
We sat at her dining table chatting about the intricacies of love and the excitements it offers in the early phases.
I was explaining the ‘why’ and ‘why not’ to her and it seemed so monotonous, probably because I have been discussing it with the voices inside my head for as long as I can remember. That’s when I started picking at the delicate white fabric spread on the glass table as a cover. And I wasn’t sure if I had heard it right when she said to me “You shall forget him too, like the way you forgot the other one.”
It took me a while to comprehend the sheer audacity of what she had just said and I blinked, unable to come up with a suitable answer. And then I told her what I truly felt… about having loved and lost. I asked her if she remembers having studied that the human heart is said to have four chambers. Then I told her that in effect, the number of chambers of the dear heart is quite obscure and that maybe we can take the example of an onion peel to understand it better. You know when you sit down to peel an onion and the convoluted membrane keeps coming off and you begin to think how long is it before you can actually see the inside of it. Ok. Not that any of you will actually do it. But again, I do think it’s analogous to the human heart in terms of the layers that keep the insides of it, hidden from the world. And also the fact that it stings your eyes to do so…
Hence, I believe you can't forget one for the other because no one is replaceable. Yes, the feelings you had and felt so strongly about at one point in your life, become so diluted that you can feel the very 'feeling' fading away. But it's not like you'll ever forget. Everything that you had felt once, shall stay in your heart and you shall remember it, layer by layer, as it lingers in your memory and claws at the inside of your soul and then fades away in its very own labyrinth.
...when you think you know someone too well, they appear to be not at all the one you knew. Like they grow out of their habits and you begin to feel if they’ll grow out of their skin too. Like the way he used to text, and I just knew HOW.
And then you begin to observe them all over again. Like I do. Now I know, the way he says that one word. He uses the same word, every time, when he is slightly pissed at something and even as I type this I can recall the very tone he uses for that one word. Typical of him. Or so I thought. Little did I know, people change and so do their thoughts and actions, likewise.