My rebound had the audacity to tell me that I didn’t love my ex-fiancé. That all I looked for is mere togetherness, that I just can’t take being on my own, that I always feel the dire need to give out the love inside my heart to someone, anyone – or so he believed. That’s when my patience gave in. Who was he to judge me? Who was he to decipher my feelings for me and to try and put my personality as he saw it? What did he know of my mirth or gloom?
I gave a hollow laugh as I read the text message and decided to give him a piece of my mind.
I told him very clearly that because I don’t casually talk of ‘my undying love’ (as one might dramatically put it) for my ex-fiancé, it doesn’t mean that I didn’t love him.And that my having to call off the wedding was entirely based on my intuition of the future, but not because I failed to feel for him. In fact I very much love him. To this very day. And even as I write. And perhaps in the years to come too... Because when I hold another’s hand, I remember his very instinctively – the artistic fingers, the almond-like nails. Remember them so clearly, that had I been an artist, his fingers I would paint with half-closed eyes!
And when I look in the other’s eyes, I remember his – the hazel eyes, with a grey halo. So peculiar. So enticing. And so seemingly honest! Hadn’t the faintest idea, the very eyes could lie! But to hate them? I don’t think I shall find such courage within my heart. Not today. Not ever.
And people say I love him not? Surely not, if the grass isn’t green!
Havent seen a post from you for sometime. I usually dont comment. But that doesnt mean I dont miss your posts! :).
ReplyDeleteHey Merlin... Pleasure to see u dropping by :)
ReplyDeleteI shall post soon. Maybe tonight only!
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ReplyDeleteI am very tempted to steal the "M" logo on the top right side of your blog below your profile and have it as a tattoo on my arm. Love the devils tail (or that is what I shall interpret it as). Defines me completely.
ReplyDeleteI am not amongst those who venture to liberally profess "unasked-for" advise on blogs, however I will say this... There are some relationships, especially like the one you had with your ex-fiance, which are very difficult to understand by a third person. Anybody who tries to comment negatively on such a relationship is being foolish, and extremely mean. I dont know if it was said in the heat of the moment, but it is wrong to dilute or degrade anything which came so close to marriage. I know it is very close to your heart, and I admire the will power which you possess to be able to move ahead. Do not take anyone, and I mean absolutely anyone including your "rebound", seriously when it comes to your relationship and what it meant to you. I think its something which is very tough to explain, your love, and how much you have cared. I dont think I can explain mine to many people.
You can have the "M" Merlin, as I do not have the copyrights for it :)
ReplyDeleteWith immense respect for what u said above, there's just one thing I would like to say: There are not many who can bring a smile to my lips from across another computer screen, so Thank You :)
I might be too late to comment on this post - reason being I recently started following your blog. This one is too good.
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